tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post670086510630612697..comments2022-12-08T08:55:26.122-08:00Comments on sixinthesticks: On Vulnerability and Boundaries Nacolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00895935638466741365noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-12017789130751844182014-04-10T14:57:38.626-07:002014-04-10T14:57:38.626-07:00I really appreciate what you share here, Diana. &...I really appreciate what you share here, Diana. "Tell stories about what I'm learning and how I'm learning it. Tell my stories, not someone else's." I have lived under the weight of so much shame all my life and hid under the blanket of denial and performing for approval. I didn't experience God's love for me till last summer and my past has haunted me. I have felt like God wants me to write and tell my story in order to combat the secrecy and shame and be healed. I have been careful what I disclose particularly with those who have hurt me - not wanting to hurt anyone. So, I have kept many areas of my life still in the dark and maybe that's okay. I still struggle with shame and lies every day and I'm still very much in need of God's healing touch. I understand that it is a process. Step-by-step. Many times I feel stupid posting on my blog because I battle inadequacy and that no one really cares to read, but who's it really for? God sees and I want to live before Him. So whatever I do, I have to remember that it's for Him because His approval is all that matters.Paula Gamblehttp://paulagamble.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-39741297379592415682014-04-05T04:59:49.001-07:002014-04-05T04:59:49.001-07:00I wish I had no knowledge of the ultimate blogging...I wish I had no knowledge of the ultimate blogging faux pas...of hurt feelings...but I do. And bottom line I'd say it boils down to what you share here. I crossed a line and processed something that didn't belong on a blog...online. I learned the hard way and hurt a friend. Thank god I was able to apologize and she graciously forgave. I'll never forget the ugly feeling and will be careful to better balance the sharing and telling with the quiet and keeping. Thanks for your wisdom Diana.Lisha Eppersonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-10057392631400333052014-03-30T15:00:10.099-07:002014-03-30T15:00:10.099-07:00I like this post, Diana. I am not a very private p...I like this post, Diana. I am not a very private person, so I do worry at times that I will share something that another would think private. Telling your own story is a good plumb line, too. I am so glad you came back to writing. I would miss your voice. <br /><br />Fondly,<br />GlendaGlenda Childersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-70037518822436733842014-03-27T09:18:15.071-07:002014-03-27T09:18:15.071-07:00Diana, I did not know this. That the timing was th...Diana, I did not know this. That the timing was that perfect--that you could have not written this before I asked-- that is SO hugely encouraging to me. Thank you for letting us know. <3 I love you. Complete and total admiration for you for writing this tender story for us to have a light to see by.Nacole Simmonshttp://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-40686159452949509702014-03-27T09:16:50.893-07:002014-03-27T09:16:50.893-07:00I love what you had to say here, Kelli-- yes, Dian...I love what you had to say here, Kelli-- yes, Diana, we are hushed by the pain and the tenderness of this story-telling. And yet, we are thankful, so thankful and honored, friend, that you chose to show the scars you bear--for our sake--that we can say, I have hurt here, too, I had made mistakes here too-- and because someone else has done it before and this is what she learned--I see the way before me. *Thank you*.Nacole Simmonshttp://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-35776043759621565712014-03-27T09:11:50.614-07:002014-03-27T09:11:50.614-07:00Joy, I just-- love you. *You* are always a face of...Joy, I just-- love you. *You* are always a face of grace and beauty here. I agree with Diana that you share well, and graciously. And your stories are needed, friend. You always point us in the right direction.Nacole Simmonshttp://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-58932868196574406572014-03-27T09:08:26.056-07:002014-03-27T09:08:26.056-07:00Ashley, I LOVE this--"releasing some of the r...Ashley, I LOVE this--"releasing some of the rest, allowing myself to be misunderstood and knowing that God holds all the people and all the pieces." Yes. Always love hearing your heart, dear friend. <3Nacole Simmonshttp://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-86644834851277398402014-03-27T09:05:39.612-07:002014-03-27T09:05:39.612-07:00Hi, thank you for coming by and reading, and askin...Hi, thank you for coming by and reading, and asking about the link-up. There is one more post in this series before the link-up. I have a guest-writer next Wed, and then the following week (either on Wed, or Thurs--on Apr.9th), Kelli Woodford and I will do a collaborative post together, and the link-up will be available to everyone then, to share their stories of blogging and writing! I hope you join in! Thanks, friend, for being here and sharing.Nacole Simmonshttp://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-84876289552734969902014-03-26T16:34:55.113-07:002014-03-26T16:34:55.113-07:00Our 'tell all world' - yes, indeed! I'...Our 'tell all world' - yes, indeed! I'm a big believer in vulnerability and authenticity, but always in a careful, measured, prayerful way. It is possible to tell important stories without revealing every gritty detail. There are cases when names must be used - in particular, in cases of cults and abusive churches. And sometimes, that overlaps with family. In those cases, the names are necessary, I fear.pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-31650110301041982312014-03-26T16:27:36.508-07:002014-03-26T16:27:36.508-07:00Thanks so much, Amy, for sharing your own story ab...Thanks so much, Amy, for sharing your own story about protecting privacy. It is a really hard line some times, but parents of teenagers do need to be particularly sensitive, I think. I'm grateful for your encouragement.pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-33719975304873956492014-03-26T16:20:07.557-07:002014-03-26T16:20:07.557-07:00I deeply appreciate what you have shared here. Our...I deeply appreciate what you have shared here. Our "tell all world" would lead us to believe that discretion is unnecessary but I value those who have set boundaries both for themselves and for the stories of others.S.Etolenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-1920031766983970402014-03-26T15:55:37.531-07:002014-03-26T15:55:37.531-07:00Diana, I relate so much to this post. Thank you fo...Diana, I relate so much to this post. Thank you for your honest sharing. I "shut down" as a writer in college after some very hurtful words from someone I love. It took me nearly a decade to find my voice again. I have teens now and am very sensitive to them~ and have many posts that will never hit the internet because someone mentioned, even subtly was not comfortable with it. Such a fine line. Such a great issue for discussion. Love your heart and am so glad you are writing!Amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-66806495496221330372014-03-26T15:01:28.283-07:002014-03-26T15:01:28.283-07:00Thanks for the words of blessing, Joy. And please ...Thanks for the words of blessing, Joy. And please keep telling your own stories, even the hard ones. You always write from your point of view and I think that's needed. I also happen to believe that stories of abuse need to be told - very carefully, of course, but told true. Over my life, and especially during my ministry years, I came across so.many.stories of abuse, all kinds of abuse. And those need to be told. Sometimes in the privacy and confidentiality of a pastor's office. But sometimes, in a broader arena, to offer hope and promise to those who are still caught. Praying for you as you continue to sift through your own stories - and thank you for sharing them in such a way as to reach out to others who might be experiencing something similar. Particularly parents, who are looking for what NOT to do as they raise their kids!pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-8855495299827831082014-03-26T14:55:29.223-07:002014-03-26T14:55:29.223-07:00Such kind words, Ashley! Thank you so much.Such kind words, Ashley! Thank you so much.pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-51934250811685541442014-03-26T14:54:46.702-07:002014-03-26T14:54:46.702-07:00I'm glad you found it helpful, Elizabeth - tha...I'm glad you found it helpful, Elizabeth - thanks for telling me.pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-90577911328236268762014-03-26T14:49:54.879-07:002014-03-26T14:49:54.879-07:00Diana, your vulnerability and wisdom share places ...Diana, your vulnerability and wisdom share places in warming hearts and drawing souls hungry to read your words. I am one of them, deeply grateful to see your face gracing Nacole's beautiful space as well as the usual habitats! <br />You give me cause to pause and ponder at the openness I reveal too. Though names are not mentioned, I haven't hesitated to draw back the curtains on a painful past and reveal wounds in need of further healing to come.<br />My motives in sharing are to help others feel less alone with their struggles and challenges ~ physical and emotional ~ and to offer what hope and encouragement I can by pointing them to the Great Encourager and Comforter Himself.<br />Now, I may have to have a rethink in the memoir pieces I am considering writing and (to use my old nursing maxim) try to do no harm to others in the process. Thank you for your honesty tempered with understanding and kindness. It is a great example to us all. May God continue to bless the works of your hands. :)Joy Lentonhttp://www.wordsofjoy75.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-27316744379986335342014-03-26T14:48:02.243-07:002014-03-26T14:48:02.243-07:00I am also trying to figure out this line, this spa...I am also trying to figure out this line, this space. I never want my writing to be at the cost of anyone. It's difficult because it means that sometimes we can't tell the "whole truth" of a situation, but that also seems to be a good kind of spiritual growth...taking responsibility for what's mine and releasing some of the rest, allowing myself to be misunderstood and knowing that God holds all the people and all the pieces. Thank you for writing with such grace and honesty here today, Diana. They seem to be hallmarks of yours. Bless you.Ashley Tolins Larkinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-15065541049418568222014-03-26T14:43:19.258-07:002014-03-26T14:43:19.258-07:00This is so helpful to me as I try to write with bo...This is so helpful to me as I try to write with both vulnerability and wisdom.Elizabeth Stewartnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-73510816263959623772014-03-26T12:12:05.802-07:002014-03-26T12:12:05.802-07:00Most of us do have a hard time learning this, I th...Most of us do have a hard time learning this, I think. But generally, it only takes one hard error to learn it pretty well. Thanks for reading and commenting, Shelly. Always good to see you.pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-24604808379972165262014-03-26T11:43:10.680-07:002014-03-26T11:43:10.680-07:00So good Diana, your vulnerability is helpful. I th...So good Diana, your vulnerability is helpful. I think there is definitely a fine line when writing about others. It's why I don't write about my kids much and ask them before I post photos. They are very private people and I learned early about that line the hard way.Shelly Millerhttp://redemptionsbeauty.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-15074810451120952572014-03-26T11:31:08.748-07:002014-03-26T11:31:08.748-07:00Thanks for reading, Julie, and for leaving such go...Thanks for reading, Julie, and for leaving such good words here. I am a big believer in the power of story. REALLY big. :>)pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-53576391684855005682014-03-26T11:29:34.446-07:002014-03-26T11:29:34.446-07:00Thanks so much for reading and commenting, in your...Thanks so much for reading and commenting, in your usual wise and encouraging way. I'm grateful for you!pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-56992512199619548062014-03-26T11:28:49.957-07:002014-03-26T11:28:49.957-07:00Thank you, Kelli, for these fine words of affirmat...Thank you, Kelli, for these fine words of affirmation. This was a hard place for me, one I learned from and hopefully, grew from. Also one I really could not write about before now, so the timing of this invitation from Nacole - and from you, too, right? - was perfect.pastordtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-30619358302893778482014-03-26T10:43:18.357-07:002014-03-26T10:43:18.357-07:00Diana, thank you so much for your honesty..I think...Diana, thank you so much for your honesty..I think you hit a chord here, it's important to tell our own stories, for it's the best way we can voice from one person to another God's grace in our lives...and there's always so much to share. I am learning a lot about the power of story. Both in sharing my own and also stepping back and learning from others. <br />Nacole, is there a link-up with this series, I was trying to find it? :) Thanks friends.mercynotesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4108147564771067205.post-67229570725303657812014-03-26T10:17:14.205-07:002014-03-26T10:17:14.205-07:00DRT, love to see your teaching and wisdom in this ...DRT, love to see your teaching and wisdom in this space. <br /><br /><br />Sharing personal stories is a tough thing to do, because usually they involve others. So it should be done with caution ...<br /><br /><br />I am always hesitant to show too much of my life -- too much exposure to strangers. And yet authentic and transparent writing is important. There are some people who simply share * too much * stuff that we just don't have a right to be party to.<br /><br /><br />Your stories and writing are always with deep introspection and personality, and yet you don't betray your friends. It's a great example -- and i see by reading this post, it is a path that has had to be learned through hard lessons.David Ruperthttp://www.redletterbelievers.com/noreply@blogger.com