Around here on Friday, I try to play along with the Five Minute Friday group at Lisa-Jo's Baker's blog. We write with abandon--just for five minutes, without fear of what flies out of hearts through fingertips onto keyboards, no editing, no back-tracking. no worrying if it's perfect, just from a one-word prompt. Come play along too? Here we gooo......
GO.
I have been way off. My mind and my heart battle the Jesus that I hear whisper and the world that weighs heavy.
These kids look at me, and I see it in their eyes--their Mama thirst--their need for someone to show them the way. They need someone to blanket them from the cold, to love on them through thick and thin--they need someone to be selfless, to not lose sight of the real goal here.
I can see way down deep into their souls when I look into those child-wide eyes. They look at me with questions that I don't have the answers to, and I feel so out of place, like naked in a highschool hallway, lockers' metal cold and mocking, laughter bouncing off.
I feel completely exposed, completely naked. Seen, for who I really am. I don't have it all together.
No, my child, I don't have all the answers. I don't know how I'm going to navigate through this and get us to the other side of glory, but I know the One who does have the answers.
And I'm counting on Him, child. I'm counting on Him.
STOP.
This week's word was FOCUS.
You can join us here....if you'd like to take the dare to write with abandon, that is....
Ah motherhood really shows us our own frailty doesn't it? So I noticed you are from Hickory...I live in Starkville. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, so lovely. Yes, too often I'm "off" too and I see confusion in their eyes. Do they know how powerful that is, I wonder.
ReplyDeleteNacole! I so remember the days when I had little innocent eyes looking up at me and I felt the exact same way. I survived and I know you will as well...because you're doing it the right way with our Father by your side! :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and graceful.. honest and raw.. showing your tender, yielded heart to a most gentle God. So glad you are back a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, my friend <3
Oh how I am in this space with you. Not with wee ones anymore though. 2 out of the 3 of my boys are now taller than me and wrestling with things that I don't have the answers to sometimes. Thankful that He has all those answers. Thanks so much for sharing! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteHe sees you, Nacole, looking at your little ones with love, and how you are leaning on Him...grateful, He has the answers :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post. My children are not little anymore (oldest is 21, youngest is 9), but I still feel their eyes on me all the time. I see their eyes full of questions still. I feel inadequate most days, but I am thankful the know the One who is adequate!
ReplyDeleteI don't have all the answers either. Thank goodness we know who does. Now if we could only stay in this place of trusting him. Saw your blog yesterday as I was perusing Michelle's (Of A Life Surrendered) pins. Thought I would stop by.
ReplyDeleteNacole...oh what pure lovely lies here. Your words are so real, so hoarse-voiced open. Authentic life is the only kind worth sharing. We really don't need facades, though we tell ourselves we do. We don't need our neighbor, our sister, our fellow grocery-store-warrior to smile big and never blink and wear a mantra-shirt of "I rock this always".
ReplyDeleteBecause in truth, we don't.
And if we keep refusing to see where we're broken, where we need holding, soothing, loving through it, then how can we hold, soothe and love the inside-out of those entrusted to us. Friends, family, children, spouses, church body...we are wholly incapable of love without the Holy rendition of our souls.
And that's ok.
Because after all, we have to proclaim our need of saving to wear the full Savior's grace. Hallelujah!
Thank you for your words. They blessed me this morning. How lovely to "meet" you. This was my first time visiting.
nice post thanks for sharing the 5 minutes friday...looking for to visit more..blessings
ReplyDeleteI love that you are giving your kids an example of what it looks like to focus on Christ! Thanks for sharing! Visiting from FMF.
ReplyDeleteOh, my word. Perfectly expressed, that the look in our kids' eyes pleads for us to be more and makes us realize that we're not. I am right in the thick of that.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
They have that x-ray vision that just sees through everything and you know it too. Or, their eyes become my x-ray vision to just cut through all the jusnk. No matter, it is all exposed to me. Glad I found you.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
ReplyDeleteOhhh yes!! Those eyes wanting the answers.....they get me!! Thanks for this - love it!
ReplyDeletenothing... NOTHING... has ever shown me how needy and inadequate in and of myself as being a mama to my tribe. but also, at the same time, this holy calling has also shown me just how good my God is, when I remember to think on Him and not all that is all around.
ReplyDeletepowerful words, today!