I stay up too late, trying to catch some quiet, relished moments, and then need extra sleep in the morning because my body can't function on little rest.
When I walk in and face the children, it feels like they have one over on me, like I just can't keep up.
Always running to keep up and I'm so weary. Chronic illness for three and a half years, and the battle is getting harder, just when I thought I could see the top of the mountain, hoping I could start climbing down the other side. It was only a thick cloud hiding the ever-towering mountain from my weary eyes.
I don't feel very brave. But some say being brave is about getting in the fight, and not sitting on the sidelines. Some say it's not brave unless you're afraid.
And I'm very afraid. I think of their precious faces, and I pray will all my heart that He would heal this illness so that I can wake each morning feeling like a conqueror.
I heard someone say recently, that if we felt like conquerors, if there were no battle to keep us in the trenches, we would never learn humility.
I guess the bravest of us really are in the trenches, learning the ropes that are ever-changing, climbing high with all our might, just to get to the top and realize there is a long way to go.
And with God, He sees all that lies ahead, and He keeps us going when we feel like giving up the race, and falling to the sidelines, becoming a spectator.
I feel His thrumming in my chest, when I lie awake, when all the house is quiet, and He says, stay in it, child. Don't give up, beloved. There is work to be done yet. Until then, rest. But don't ever give up or give in.
Keep going, put one foot in front of the other and do the next good thing.
**On Fridays I join Lisa-Jo and the #FiveMinuteFriday Community. We write for five minutes flat, with no extreme editing, no worrying about perfect grammar, no worrying if our words sound just right. "Unscripted. Unedited. Real."--Lisa-Jo Baker
The one-word prompt this week: BRAVE.
Now for #concretewords highlight of the week! The writer I'm highlighting this week for #concretewords is:
Janel Andrews for Piano #1--in Poetic Form --I absolutely loved reading this. Gorgeous. Janel is totally new to Concrete Words--let's encourage her!
*********
Some lovely reading, some creativity, some beauty for the weekend?
All the best links for me this week: {And stay tuned or scroll down for your weekend challenge!! FUN!}
This story--only Amber Haines can say the words caddywhompus, webbernets, and talk about flowers and Kingdom come in a way that makes me want to know God like a child again all in one post. This girl is amazing.
This post by Lisa-Jo. Seriously. If you're a mother, you need this one. This weekend. Read this and breathe.
THIS by Seth Haines--if you read one thing on this list--this. I believe in God the Father, Almighty maker of heaven, maker of earth. Beautiful video at the end of Rich Mullins.
This offering on touching the world from Duane Scott
This one by Deidra Riggs--yes, yes, yes.
This video based on one of Lisa-Jo's post. All of us mothers need to watch this a couple times, y'all. At least.
This post by Ann Voskamp-- this blessed me, got down under my skin in all the right ways... for the days when life is unbearably moving too fast, and you aren't sure how to hold on.... just remember a sheen of grace covers everything...
This post by my friend, Holly, at A Lifetime of Days-- absolutely glorious. For when you need a change, and things are stale.
This post by my friend at Hill + pen-- Amazing write.
Some beauty to capture and open the brain to possibility...beautiful places all over the world
Some creativity for the weekend--a wall that happily heralds summer... I will definitely be doing this... I'll get some white frames on the cheap... This is so easy--just some leaves and spray-paint!
This video on making tiny gardens is interesting and may inspire a hobby this summer? I would recycle things around the house for my own tiny garden--broken clay pots & pieces, stones & rocks to make paths, marbles for garden globes....
For the Writers:
This post from Margaret Feinberg :things we all need to know, whether we write on a blog, or writing a book
Laura Boggess writes an informative post to help us avoid the snags of bad style
Mary Demuth's 25 Very Best Blog Practices--this helped me. Some of it I already knew--but it's good to have it re-confirmed. My guess is it will be beneficial to you, too.
Your weekend challenge from Moi: Go out into your swampy, snowy, icicle-y yard {whichever applies to your region} and find some beauty--take your camera with you and snap something. I'm doing this, too! Just for kicks: Link pics in comments here all weekend. The rest of your challenge is below.... Happy weekend, friends!
Tell me in the comments: What were your favorite links this week? How do you struggle to be brave?
Thank you, friend, for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSometimes being brave is just getting up in the morning. I have some issues with chronic illness but not to the extent you do. I admire you. I admire the strength it takes to do normal everyday things that take others no time at all. I admire your care and concern for your family. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.
ReplyDeletePraying for yor increased strength.
Battle on , you are a precious, brave warrior.
ReplyDeleteOk...love your blog and you are certainly BRAVE. I can't imagine....little kids facing an illness. I am a mama of three and without and illness it can be daunting to get out of bed some days with all the pressing needs. Sometimes we think we're at the top and we think we can head down the other side and we face a set back. Isn't this how it can be in life? God is coming. Sometimes the biggest battle is before the breakthrough. I'm praying for you sister. You are blessed. Your story will move mountains for women in your shoes. Love your writing and your story blessed me today.
ReplyDeleteOh, His words in you, sister. Yes, keep listening, keep leaning in. You are just beautiful and you fill me His hope here. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAppreciate your support, dear.
ReplyDeleteYour first two lines tell the story of my days. I can so relate. You certainly are the "brave" I was envisioning as I read the topic for this week. So thankful we all can find small ways to link our trenches and wander through from time to time to offer encouraging words to one another. You are beautiful. You have a story of beauty. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI struggle every day with bravery. My son is autistic and i never know what will happen. I am so fearful that i might mess up in some way that will have a serious impact on him. Or maybe in my attempt to be there for him, My daughter will be left out and feel alone. Or maybe, maybe maybe...the list is neverending. I needed to read this. I needed to remember that God is with me. Thank you.
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