A Warm Shout of Thanks And Love To Ann! {A Testimony of 1,000 Gifts}

In cold February when I first heard of Ann, it was through the trailer to her book--they showed the video at my little church. I only heard her voice and her poetry, and that was all I needed to hear. I was floored by her words, them digging up my soul from the grave and screaming, "Awaken!" They moved me, the think, muddy waters of me, and they soaked the parched ground of my spirit. And something else began to trickle--love.

My heart began to bleed and I began to weep tears and it began to stream into rivers of life.

At the time I was in school full-time online, while being a mommy to four and a wife to one amazing man. I had suffered with post-partum depression, anxiety and migraines after the birth of my fourth child. Being in school compounded this, and stress took over my body.

I began having fibromyalgia symptoms (a stress disorder) and the illness took an ugly turn, getting worse and worse. The insomnia worsened and I began to have paranoia. The anxiety episodes came to the point I could no longer attend church.

I was not able to take care of my children the way I desperately wanted to mother them, just desperately wanting to cradle them, to read to them, bake with them, to read devotions to them. The illness has at times had me isolated and closed off to my family--even to my sweet baby, for which I felt awfully guilty. I had to quit school because the stress and the illness came to the point that I was having severe pain and could not continue.

This was around the time I began reading Ann's blog, A Holy Experience. I was on a path of my own and God showed me I was headed the wrong direction. He showed me that my desires to raise my girls were placed there by Him, and that I did not have to give that up in order to pursue school and a career so that my family would not starve. He showed me that I was pursuing things out of fear and that I had to trust Him for His will for me and my family--even though I thought that I was pursuing these things for the love of my family and to help my husband.

My heart had hardened to my family and all the dreams of motherhood I really longed for--I had to bury all of these hopes and dreams in pursuit of a career--it is not so easy to switch paths--it takes a softening and pounding of the heart, a tenderizing of tough, calloused meat. So now, here I am. I began reading One Thousand Gifts and bathed myself in and drank in the words of deep communion and gratefulness to God.

This book changed my heart and life forever!

I continued reading the words on her blog. The first post I ever read was about a horn she hung on a wall to remind herself to be happy and to share joy with others.

Her joy intrigued me--I wanted to know more--the Farmer she called him, outside in the yard and her in the house, him laughing and her smiling, him honking at her from the truck. Yes, I wanted this joy.

I also read the one about when the Farmer came to put gas in her van on the snow-packed country road, and it impacted me, the way she didn't expect him to do these things, but she humbly recognized them as gifts. I needed this.

And she wrote this: "...he’s drawn it all close, and smiled when she’s created and nodded for her to go and said no to any performing and yes to just being." I knew this was the way my Husband loved me too, and I knew we were headed down this Christ-love marriage road and I saw hope on the horizon.


I read the post called How To Fall In Love All Over Again In 4 Minutes A Day--a profound post--the intimacy between them--the way he tells her to believe him when he tells her she is beautiful--like Christ and the church--I had to know more.

These posts touched me deeply. There have been times that Husband and I have read together, tears streaming down faces. It is because of Ann's writing--because of her family and the way they live--that we now read the bible at supper each night. This is a remarkable, sweet, sweet change for our family--oh the mercies and grace of God!

As these writings began to bring not only lasting change to my heart, but to my family's as well, I also began counting my own gifts. I began naming them. You can see my first list here.

This naming, there was a mystery to it--a naming of gifts given that otherwise would go completely unnoticed, unaccounted for, and without having given thanks for.

It was in this continual giving of thanks everyday--not only in counting the beautiful gifts, but in counting the hard eucharisteos--eucharisteo meaning hard thanks, the kind of thanks to God that comes in hard trials and circumstances that we didn't want to come our way--that my heart really began to change.

The book opened up new doors for me to go through that I had never thought of before, never known they existed. But the habit of writing down my thanks to God for gifts made the walking through doors possible. And the more I write it down, the easier it is to walk through the doors of freedom into joy.

This has been healing to me, has brought me through and I can finally see the other side--all this light to dance in like crazy!

Starting today, I will be tweeting my three gifts a day as a part of the Joy Dare. I have been taking part in the Joy Dare, but am behind in doing it everyday, so I would like to tweet it everyday to keep me accountable to keeping up with it. I believe this will be another turning point for me. To follow my Joy-Dare tweets, just click on the little link in the side-bar!

Would you like to take part in the JOY DARE? Click HERE to read about it with gorgeous free printable from Ann!

Gratitude:
3 gifts that were surprises...unexpected grace!...
#563 red Valentine heart full of chocolates from my Sweetheart
#564 a phone call from a very close friend and the prayer that changed everything--healing!
#565 Granny and Granddaddy bringing pizza, drinks and ice cream for everyone--such givers

3 times you heard laughter today...
#566 my older girls being silly, and the way she puts her hand to her mouth and giggles, eyes lighting up like jewels
#567 when she shared her life with me as we ran and we laughed freely
#568 Husband and I laughing together at silly things--commercials, our own antics and movie-quoting

3 gifts found in working...
#569 the beauty of the yard when it's cleaned up and raked
#570 that home really can be a safe haven of peace and this is the reward of my efforts
#571 a breeze blowing in through kitchen window I had a hard time raising

3 hard eucharisteos...
#572 waiting so long for our vehicle, cooped up all winter, not able to attend any homeschooling outings, knowing God is working the finances out for the right timing
#573 the hard work of relationships--the beauty that unfolds in my toiling and giving and in others for me
#574 losing friendships that once had their moment of shining brilliance, lost as to why this has to be, and so thankful for the ones who are loyal to me through all of my flaws

3 gifts found behind a door today...
#575 Granny and Granddaddy driving out for a visit because they miss their great-grandbabies and watching them for just a couple hours while Daddy and Mama get out for a little breather--the bond that can't keep family away
#576 when I'm typing, little one peeking around the door every so slowly, her inquisitive two-year old eyes
#577 a door opening for my Father in the form of a job with the state, teaching, after 30+ years of self-employment--the first time in his life he will have insurance and retirement--comfort for his aging body

3 ways I feel the love of God...
#578 Husband's tireless taking care of me and the girls everyday. His endless giving.
#579 A friend shining beautiful for Jesus calling to tell me that God said I am to write a book--I whisper this thanks hesitantly
#580 A friend only just met online offering schooling books for us to use for free! Extravagant grace! Thanks through tears!

a gift in losing something, in finding something, in making something...
#581 losing my pride, taking a love-risk and reaching out when I've been hurt
#582 finding the cover to my camera lens--Praise God!--this is the way I love to record my gifts!
#583 making Valentine's treats with the girls--oh delightful fun!

**All of us passing illness around here...using tissue like it was air and sipping hot tea. I will do my best to answer your kind comments and hopefully I will be able to write more later this week. If not, I will see you, friends, next week! Getting sick, though I never get sick, maybe God's way of slowing me down?


If you enjoyed this post at all, and think someone else might as well, would you consider sharing in one of the ways below? {two ways to do this--at the top of the comment section and here:}


Pin It   Tweet  

Join me at Ann's for a Joy Dare, and counting our gifts and graces from God?