3.05.2012

Little Ballerinas



Papers scattered, computer on my lap, soft couch cushion underneath, I look at the little faux fire blazing and type away, lost in a sea of cyber-words. Four year old Bella's large blue-orbed eyes find mine, grounding me, and she asks, "Mama, will you come play ballerina with me?" My legs crossed indian-style, a smile playing on my lips at her angel cuteness, I tell her yes, in just a minute.

When I finish writing to a friend, I walk into their room, toys strewn about, pine floor barely peeking through. "I'm ready to play ballerina now. What should I do?"

"You be the teacher, Mama. Yes, you have to wear a ballerina outfit like us, a teacher-ballerina outfit." Excitement lifts them up on their toes, and their voices jump decibals higher. I laugh at them, and tell them the first thing to do is to pick up all the toys so we have room to dance, and I will be back.

So feeling extremely silly, I go find tights, a slip-skirt, and black leotard-like top. Their eyes shine when they see me and when I turn and twirl into their room, clapping my hands and calling, "Okay, class, line up" in a sing-song soprano, they little-girl giggle and I see them really looking at me, in a new light. Their innocence betrays them and their fresh God-image faces reflect rapturous joy and that I must be doing something right.



I put in Handel's Messiah and I have them to plie' and do stretches on the bar and I spin and teach them a dance. They go leaping through the air. The early morning sun's rays catch them in all their beauty--just in this one moment, this moment that will never return.

I have never felt sillier nor have I ever felt more free.

I go over to the player at their request and we play "Musical Ballet". When I stop the music, they are frozen in their lifts and little girl twirls, and this is a perfectly freeze-framed moment for a mama.



Time really does seem to stop. 

They hold hands, all four of them, and they go 'round and 'round in the neverending circle of sunrise's gleaming hope, it streaming across their faces. The shadows fall but I don't see the shadows--I only see their souls radiating and shining light, and it makes them so alive.



It bedazzles me and I'm enthralled because I don't know how it happened, but I am caught up in the way a dimple beams at me, the way a soft cheek captures warmth right there, the way Lorna's wavy golden locks waterfall over her small framed shoulders, glinting light glorious.



In our crazy kid-energy afforded by play, I sat on the little woven rug in front of the dollhouse and helped them shine it new, and glued down miniature furniture so tiny hands could not break it--a love-project put off for many months.

When we were finished, my daughters were so proud and I was proud too, to call myself Mama.

We tasted contentment's sweet milk and it delighted us and we drank in the nourishment at joy's swelled hope.

We danced wild, laughing, letting the morning carry us smoothly along right through freedom's doors into wide-open joy.



Gratitude:

#584 How when I ask Bella to help Lilly into her boot, she says, "I can't--I promise, because I'm just a little girl."

#585 How Bella furrows her brow at me, "Mama, Ivy slapped me on my ankle," holding up her elbow, and I absent-mindedly lift up the elbow of my sink-water drenched shirt, she says, "No, Mama, not your ankle, MY ankle!"

3 ugly-beautifuls gifts...
#586 taking care of sick children
#587 with Hubs sick, eldest daughter helps
#588 germy, dirty house now sparkling

3 gifts from the past--that help me trust the future...
#589 relationships in church body mended--stepping out on a limb trusting Him to catch me
#590 hurts in family past getting some healing
#591 my favorite book, old and tattered, given by my Grandma, being the first read-aloud the girls and i do together, taking turns


a gift dull, a gift shimmering, a gift cleaned...
#592 antique table given by Granny showing wear and marks from children as I snap a picture of little hands grabbing cinnamon rolls
#593 beautiful floral designed diamond engagement ring given by Husband
#594 knit blanket washed and couch scrubbed, floors shiny for sister to come over to watch nieces while me and Husband go on day-date

3 gifts at 3 p.m...
#595 warm, soft breezy day,
#596 blanket on the porch w kids piled up & popcorn,
#597 me on the swing writing my thanks

#598 Ivy's reverent whisper of conviction as she stares out to the yard,"It's a beautiful day today."

3 gifts green...glorious signs of Spring!
#599 thick clover in the backyard


#600 shoots of life coming up in pots


#601 tiny buds on my favorite spring tree blooming


3 gifts wore...
#602 turquoise studded silver bracelet given by Granny
#603 soft, comfy scarf given by sister
#604 gorgeous shirt gifted to Husband that looks smashing on him!

3 gifts hard to give thanks for...
#605 making it on very little these past few weeks until our finances get worked out--being creative with making money stretch
#606 muddy, swampy back yard, rain making green life come up, me and girls sloshing around in rainboots and clogs
#607 nice, huge pile of tree limbs from tree that fell in yard to make a bonfire--smores makings bought, weinies, drinks, and wood too wet to burn--so we take our smores inside to the stove and happily eat up



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36 comments:

  1. Nacole...those sweet moments...building sweet memories...you're a good momma...keep giving to these sweet girls...keep dancing and laughing wild...blessings my friend...

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    1. Ro,

      yes, they are sweet moments. good to hear from you on this Monday morning! we are laughing and getting in the light as much as possible...good weather for it. blessings!

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  2. Ah... I love this... how you captured your moments and painted the picture with words for us to enjoy... and how you chose them, when the bloggy world beckons for our attention... these are the moments that you will never regret... Just beautiful... you are beautiful...

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    1. thank you, sweet Michele! yes, other worlds beg for our attention...and to become a writer, it will have to be at snail-pace in order to not regret the truly important. blessings, friend!

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  3. This is beautiful, Nacole...keep dancing and building such wonderful memories for your girls...thanks for sharing Bella's ankle story :)

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    1. Dolly,

      thank you so much for your words and for visiting! i don't know that i have ever been to your blog--if so, it was long ago. i will have to hope over for a visit! and you're welcome...Bella's ankle story...the stories that make up a life. blessings!

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  4. this.is.too.much. those pictures! more importantly those moments. so proud of you, mama. for slipping into those tights and joining in. this is life in its best, no? *sigh.*

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    1. ha ha!yes, Tara, too much. thank you so much, Tara. you have endeared yourself, to be sure, so faithfully coming here and with such sweet encouragement. this IS life at it's best...blessings, friend!

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  5. Simply beautiful blessings. I love your ballet moment - so beautiful. Those moments where time seems to stand still - those moments are inprinted into our souls!!!! I know what that money stretching - God can sure make enough - and trusting Him that there will be enough. Praying peace for you in the challenge - but what wonderful blessings God is giving you in the midst of it all. I want to come over and sit on your porch! Be blessed this week sweet friend!

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    1. thank you, Mary Leigh! your words are so encouraging. yes, praying and trusting He will provide. yes, He has blessed me--so grateful to Him! i would LOVE for you to come sit on my porch! come on over! love you, sweet lady!

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  6. How wonderful! Makes me miss my 3 granddaughters who dance around 3+ hours away from me!

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    1. thank you, Robin, for your kind words and for visiting here. blessings to you!

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  7. Nacole you made me laugh today. That was a beautiful blog. I was laughing at the mere sight of you in a slip, tights and leotard!!! Hillarious.... You are such a sweet mama for capturing the moment with Bella and the girls. I know from experience that it takes an open heart and discipline to hear them when they really need and want you just to open up and be young and free with them. Take my advice do it more cuz the more you open up with them the freeer you become. Love you mama

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    1. thank you, Mama. it makes me happy to hear you say that. yes, an open heart and discipline...i think this is what i was trying to get across...God whispering this to me. love you!

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  8. Made my heart ACHE. I'm so in love with your writing. Just praising God for the gift He's given you again. :)
    I decided I'm going to share your posts from now, on, on Facebook. And I wondered at myself for not doing this sooner!
    Always enjoying God's great and beautiful work in you, the glimpses of it that you share with us here, always being strengthened and encouraged in my own growth and faith as I read your words, as a woman, wife, mother, daughter of God.
    Thank you, Nacole. Very thankful for you.

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    1. oh, Danae,

      you are *beautiful*. you just have the kindest, warmest heart. thank you so much for these words, friend. "I'm so in love with your writing."--this has me softly laughing giddily to myself. that you love me so much--i don't feel deserving, but i'm glad you do. i am so joyful at the encouragement and growth it has brought you--this is extravagant grace to me...Lord knows i wonder most of the time what i will write and worry if i have the strength with parts of me tearing this way and that. YOU have encouraged me today, dear friend. thankful for you, everytime i remember you.

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  9. Love it! Your golden girls are so precious. The only thing that would've made it better: a picture of the teacher-ballerina. ;-)

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    1. oh, thank you, April! dear friend!! so good to see you here.

      and ah...THAT wasn't going to happen! ;) love you!

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  10. Nacole, your life
    is poetry in motion…
    I hope you
    and your lovely girls
    always, always dance!

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    1. oh, *thank you* for those sweet words--i'm humbled, truly. that my life would be poetry in motion reflecting HIS joy, HIS peace, HIS love, HIS beauty--to only bring glory to Him--this is my prayer. thank you, Debra for reminding me. blessings!

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  11. Thanks for the beautiful glimpse into your joy. Playing with our little ones always brings us right to the Throne of Grace, I think. As a mommy of three girls, I have "attended" many bedroom dance classes, too. Last week, my three year old invited me to a "swimming suit tea party." Felt a little silly and cold in my swim suit, but the gleam in her eye when I sat down at her little plastic picnic table with my beach towel in hand was worth it all:) Blessings to you from a friend in Iowa!

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    1. you are welcome, Alicia. *thank you* for your sweet words. yes, right to the throne of grace--i like that. thank you for your swimsuit story--i'm intrigued--you are a great mama. what a blessing. blessings to you, friend, from MS!

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  12. To feel the lightness and freedom of your heart made me wish I were a child again. In fact, as I read this, I strangely found myself more wide-eyed with your girls. Memories of a time when I was given an ice-skating outfit, and I flew across the ice with dreams of being an olympic skater. If only we didn't lose that child-like freedom of acting out our dreams! We become so tightly wrapped in what we think is "proper!" Dance, Nacole! And what could be more beautiful to dance to than Handel???!!!!!

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    1. ah Cora, you always warm my heart. oh, thank you for letting me know what it means to you, friend. i feel nearer and nearer to you every time we share--not so far apart. i can see you--dreaming of being a skater--in your precious little girl outfit. i will dance, Cora, i will!!! *in tears* thank you!!! love you, lady!

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  13. Beautiful girls, beautiful mama, beautiful words.

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    1. oh, *thank you*, Ashley, for your kind words--they mean so much. blessings to you!

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    1. oh, wow, Laura, *blushing*--thank you. you are too, friend!

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  15. This is beautiful, words, music, images, the thought of mama spinning in the circle with girls. I loved every moment of these carefully chosen words that drew me in to the circle to, to breathe an extra moment of beauty in my day. Thanks for finding me.

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    1. oh Genevieve,

      i am the one who is *grateful* to have found you! just the one visit to your blog the other day was so inspiring to me. thank you for your kind words, though--they mean so much. i am so thankful this brought beauty to your day. i am humbled. blessings, new friend!

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  16. Nacole, I can't tell you how much delight I got from this post! Thank you for sharing this beautiful time you had with your pretty ballerinas! I felt like I was right there with you. Just precious!

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    1. Sylvia,

      *you* are delightful! i am so happy that you enjoyed it that much! blessings, new friend!

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  17. Those little girls in their pink and lace and tulle - so beautiful. And you dancing, too -- I love it!

    Love the old and tattered, well-loved book handed down from your grandmother, too...

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    1. Michelle,

      thank you so much for visiting and for your kind words. i wasn't sure if this fit into the category of what God is speaking to me, but i hope that anyone reading can see that He was *definitely* speaking to me through this--oh, and what a glorious morning it was, too! i'm glad you enjoyed it--the book, it is beloved. so wonderful to connect with you, Michelle! blessings!

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  18. This is beautiful. Both the pictures and the writing. I'm so glad to have found your blog!

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    1. Denise,

      i'm sorry i'm so late in replying to this, but i wanted to say thank you for such kind encouragement. i'm so glad you found me, too! especially so that i can enjoy getting to know you and your words. blessings.

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