3.25.2013

A Stirring {An Abstraction on Spirit}

When I close my eyes, and picture sunlight, I'm a girl again, riding horseback, playing games amongst the pines.

The whoosh of the wind in my hair as I run her down the hill again and again elates me and makes me feel like an Indian princess in the beautiful frontier before it was invaded and cut down and colonized. I feel her pride, her strong spirit, and together we soar like the eagle. The hooves drum in the ground, dirt flies up against my thighs, and I feel the beating of wings, of my heart, of the animal's might beneath me, the sinews of her stretching taught and powerful, her beauty preaches to me, talks to me of God. We are one, the beast and I, the Indian girl and I, as I lean over the saddle horn, give into her great prowess, my body rolling in rhythm with hers, copulating, us fused together, I can smell the scent of her thick glorious hair.

I grab her mane, the dry thickness of it so coarse it's like ropes dredging me up out of water, and I hold onto her for dear life, because I have control but it's because she lets me, so meek in all her raw power. I let out a yell, "Yee-haw! Yee-yee-yee!!" I'm strong. I'm fierce, unstoppable.

My mind rolls back and over those better days, swinging from large old oak, the wooden plank under  my young bottom, I don't even feel it, me all light and weightless, swinging out over the hill, it dropping off beneath, like I'm flying, sun blinding, I close my eyes, tip head back and laugh wild.

I capture them like this now, when I watch them run and play, spirits soaring, and the light in their hair--it speaks to me. Speaks to me different, not in words, but lightens me, makes me exhale. Something inside is stronger and brighter and breathes easier.

God captures me like this. He watches as I rise, sunlight in my hair all askew, as I pitter-patter barefoot in yoga pants, warm sweater wrapped round my cold body. I wonder if God sees as He watches, how that when the horse tried to kill me, it made me afraid and I stopped riding, if He sees my weakness, my fear, my pitiful life and begs like a baby screaming for milk for me to to not be afraid, to ride again, to soar again. I walk across wooden, sun-soaked warm floor and God made the warmth for me. And He speaks to me there. He's in the morning light pouring in on the pine.

I walk outside, tip head back, close eyes, blinded by light through the Sand Plum, and I walk toward the children. Baby girl calls, "Mama, play!" And right here and now, I get to be brave.

I shake off my fear and I love fierce, climb onto the trampoline and tickle, giggle, squeal, and laugh and jump the afternoon away, and I know this is how I learn to get back on the horse, how to not let spirit die.



Friends, I appreciate you helping me get the word out about Concrete Words! Be sure to use the hashtag #concretewords. Please use the "Share" feature at the bottom of this post--thanks!  

What this link-up is about: Since this is my first week hosting #concretewords, I am using lovely Amber Haines' words to describe what we do here. We "write out spirit" by practicing writing about the invisible using concrete words. In case you are going "what in the world is a concrete word?!"--this just means use the prompt to write out a story, a memory, a feeling and make me feel what you felt, describe the scene around you, the textures, the emotions, the tastes, smells, the light. Tell me what you touch, see, hear...

A few simple guidelines:  1. Be sure you link up the URL to your Concrete Words
                                             post and not just your blog home page URL.
                                         2. Put a link to this post on your blog so that others 
                                             can find their way back here.
                                         3. Try to visit one or two others and encourage their efforts
                                         4. Please write along with us, using concrete words--
                                             Please no entries with how-to's, advertising, or 
                                             sponsored posts 
                                         5. Consider sharing via social media to help get word out!
Today's prompt is Spirit. (You can link up anything you have written 
past or present that applies to writing out spirit--the invisible--with concrete words)

Next week, our Concrete Words prompt is the Truck.

**Because of what I shared * here,I cannot always answer comments and visit very many blogs, but I will do my best to visit those who link up here. I would love for you to feel a sense of community when you are here, and I hope you do feel right at home--I just think--though we all search for so much interaction and approval from others, that sometimes, maybe in some seasons, sometimes very long seasons, just a quiet place is what we truly need. Just a place to reflect, pray, dream. 

I cherish your words, and the beautiful soul God made you. I am nodding my head, teary-eyed, as I read your hearts here. I'd like you to know that when I see you here, my heart just leaps out of my chest to connect with you--to let you know I hear you! Oh friend, I'm so glad you understand, and thank you for so much grace!  And while you leave such sweet words here, I am probably somewhere cleaning a precious 3-year-old baby girls' messes, listening to an eleven year old playwrite's brave words, or teaching my crew. If you are here, know you are loved, and you're the seasonin' in my soup. 

{This post shared with JenLaura, Heather, Jennifer for #TellHisStory}

Let's have some fun with concrete words! (You can join in anytime this week until the linky is closed!)

10 comments:

  1. I was a horseback rider, too. I miss it. Her. The one animal. My heart has never been big enough to betray her.

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  2. Love this post, Nacole. (sigh) I breathe spirit in the passion of your words.

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  3. Hey girl,
    Thanks for taking us back with you...I loved the visual of you throwing your head back and laughing. I remember childhood days like those.

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  4. My favorite phrase in this whole thing is "love fierce." I want to do just this.

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  5. And I am young again too, as I run along beside you. So many things we leave behind, no? These are lovely concrete, descriptive words that give me a sweet picture of your heart.

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  6. Thank you for hosting concrete words. Looking forward to getting to know you. Love this phrase : "and I know this is how I learn to get back on the horse, how to not let spirit die."

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  7. Thank you for hosting! Beautiful imagery in your words! Beautiful story that points back to a beautiful God! Blessings! Rachael

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  8. Hey, thanks for coming by and commenting! I have to confess, I had no idea your prompt was Spirit when I wrote that, but I had it half-scribbled in my journal so I figured it was so close enough to join in ;) But really, when it comes to Spirit, I like your bareback, wild and weightless version even better!

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  9. Beautiful hostess - with beautiful words battling fear! I have days where I just live one step at a time - to see the big picture the journey overwhelms me - and God walks with me one step at a time, giving me the courage and stamina I need.

    Your post reminded me of my grandmother - who used to race her horse against the trains in Normandy, KY. When she was 90 and the dementia stole her memory and her spirit - I knew that when she crossed over to the other side - her spirit would be freed - that spirit that raced the trains in Normandy, Ky on her horse:)

    Be blessed, Nacole!

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